The Broken Umbrella
You only need an umbrella,
father said, if it’s raining.
But it’s a good idea, since
the weather is temperamental,
to know where one is handy.
Also, it’s important to test one
first to see if it works. There’s
nothing more frustrating
than trying to open an umbrella
in the rain and finding out
that it doesn’t open. Your mother
collects umbrellas the way some
collect commemorative stamps –
finding memories to increase
the value. I hold to one principle;
if it doesn’t work – throw it out.
Your mother refuses to part with
any umbrellas. If that is the case,
then I recommend getting in the habit
of wearing a hat. At least you won’t get a soggy head.