Hal Sirowitz

The Broken Umbrella

You only need an umbrella,

father said, if it’s raining.

But it’s a good idea, since

the weather is temperamental,

to know where one is handy.

Also, it’s important to test one

first to see if it works. There’s

nothing more frustrating

than trying to open an umbrella

in the rain and finding out

that it doesn’t open. Your mother

collects umbrellas the way some

collect commemorative stamps –

finding memories to increase

the value. I hold to one principle;

if it doesn’t work – throw it out.

Your mother refuses to part with

any umbrellas. If that is the case,

then I recommend getting in the habit

of wearing a hat. At least you won’t get a soggy head.

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